New Adventures of the Compassionate Curmudgeon

In which I tend to rant. A lot. But compassionately...

Most Convenient What...?

I do my banking at TD Bank, which likes to bill itself as "America's Most Convenient Bank".

Mostly I use their website, which conveniently lists all my TD Bank accounts in one place, so it's simple to navigate. It even includes the TD Visa Card account that I recently opened.

TD Bank, not necessarily America's most convenient...

One of the benefits that enticed me to sign up for that Visa card was the promise that if I spent $500 in the first few months, I'd get $200 back. Where do I sign?

By adding the card to my Apple Pay account, it didn't take long to rack up the $500 in the first few weeks I had it, since I rarely use cash anymore.

Then the first statement came. It was a paper bill. Via the Post Office. All my other TD accounts are paperless. So I checked online and didn't see any way to switch the account to paperless. Plus, although it showed that I had racked up 20,626 "points", there didn't seem to be anyway to convert those points into cash.

So I called the TD Visa Card help line. The answer turned out to be pretty simple. I couldn't do it at TD Bank's web site. I had to set up a new account at the TD Credit Card Service Online site. It would ask if I'd like to go paperless.

America's Most Convenient Bank was forcing me to create a second account at a different site just so I could get statements online? WTF?

So I went to that site and created an account, and... Oh, but it wasn't that simple. When I tried to create a password, I used LastPass to devise a 12-character, letters-numbers-and-symbols password, as I routinely do.

Uh-uh. America's Most Convenient Bank's Credit Card site didn't want the password to be greater than eight characters and it didn't like those symbols. WTF? Is it still 1995?

So I adjusted LastPass's password parameters and set up the account. And sure enough, the site asked me if I wanted to go paperless. One problem solved.

Now to get that $200 refund. As it turned out, I had to go to yet another site, the TD Cash Rewards site, and set up yet another account there. What. The. Fuck?

Well, I went there. I set up an account and...

But no. America's Most Convenient Bank's Cash Rewards site didn't like the password that LastPass created. Turns out this site requires letters, numbers, and symbols!

So I adjusted the password and tried again. I won't go into all the gory details, but the page kept losing my some of my information every time I hit send. So I had to keep re-entering the credit card number and my email address and the password...

But I did finally get in, and I did finally tell it to credit my account with the $200, at which time it told me it would take five business days to do so. Five business days?

I have a serious problem calling this America's Most Convenient Bank.